I started DBT a little while back, (Dialectical Behavior Therapy, if you don’t know it look it up!) it has been this awesome new tool for me that uses both group and individual therapy to help you learn skill sets for all kinds of mental health stuff. BUT you can google that if you want to know more. Point being I have been seeing positive changes pretty quickly in this program and noticed a major milestone today!
2 1/2 weeks ago I dislocated my knee, which put a kink in all the forward progress I was making. Nothing feeds depression like isolation. So yesterday I was finally able to go back to my weekly therapy and group sessions, and today I am SORE. Which meant I was back in the recliner not able to help much, like with dinner or the 5 year old. Suddenly this evening I realized how 100% okay I was with this! I squealed and filled my husband in.
Here’s the thing, in the past if I have chosen to do something just for me/my health and it has gotten in the way of being able to care for my daughter or husband I have felt a lot of guilt. Somewhere along the way I subconsciously decided (all on my own) that their needs were above mine, at all times. Even when I could logic my way out of feeling guilty, my go to reaction was still this oppressive guilt!
So today was a proud moment when I realized I felt zero guilt for taking care of my needs first. (My husband was happy and proud of me too by the way). Bonus, it’s further proof that DBT is working and I am making positive deep down changes. Seriously, google that shit 🙂